A Small World of a Moon Hedgehog

Creative vent post — written from my cat’s perspective about me, the human.

TW: heavy mental health topic, mention about eating disorder, selfharm and suicidal

4(catsyearold)M- Hello Cats of reddit, i need your advice, and no, im not in the wrong subgroup. My human got diagnosed with BPD last year, which makes sense as for the previous 12 years she stupidly thought she was just overly sensitive, over thinking with depression *eyes roll*. Anyways, how do you deal with your human? 

I don’t understand why this human is able to care for other people when she had literally nothing to give!!! As if she thought her life did not matter?  Okay hearing from her phone calls with her parents, yeah yeah she is an eldest daughter but still… like wtf is wrong with her?

I dont understand sometimes i was just having my royal naps, and i heard her crying of how stuck she has been in life, so i look at her (not that i care, she was just too damn noisy), but the next second when her mom or whoever other human called her, she could just smile and acted like nothing!!! Like if you were not alright, acted like you weren’t so people didn’t think you were fine. 

Recently, evenwhen i woke up when its almost my breakfast, she was still fucking sitting there and studied like a dumbfound human. Yeah, i wonder why as well, apparently, she got traumatized from her childhood *eyes roll* that she needed to be perfect or else no one will love her; or sometimes this stupid human just tryna be a normal human: eating 2 meals a day… normal species would enjoy it, but this human?she forced herself to throw up!! Yeah you got it right, she got ED as well. 

And where are those professionals study in this mental health??? You people told her to reach out for help but when she did, no one actually there??? How come whenever after her phone calls to helplines, or her trip to hospital (- how do i know? Cuz she smelled like sanitiser and got home 6 hours later idiot!!!) she looked even worse than before she called or the trip? 

Yes, i tried to tell her to just fuck it all, yk? like fuck everything and live for herself, man does she really learn nothing from me??? At all??? Like fuck it all, choose yourself first!!! But like that scary vacuum robot thing when they automatically vaccuum, WHENEVER she sees anyone needed help or she thinks they look not alright, that human just put them before herself even when SHE is the one needing help??! Like hello??

Anyways, leaving her is not an option because… well when i was 6 months old, i got FIP and even the local vet kinda gave up on me- they refered us to the bigger hospital, and even gave the human the euthanasia leaflet, and i remembered the human stared at the paper everyday and cry, not to mention, the insurance considered me as “preexisting health condition” and they refused to help me out (how dare they). But that human refuse to give up, borrow money from everywhere and now im here and she still trying to pay off those debts, probably thats why she didnt have much left for her mental health. SO, any advice to help my human? 

(Not that i care anyways its just annoying when i was sleeping and she  was sobbing and who would buy me food anyways?) 

P/s: the human in that post here, just for clarificaion as my anxiety think or this might be offensive to anyone, i was having a meltdown episode yesterday and saw my cat stared at me like wtf. And i feel bad as if somehow he knows he couldnt leave me alone when im out of his sight – i went to the bathroom and he always follow. Cuz when he was sick, so sick last year, he always just slept and rest. But that particular one night, as if he knew something was not alright when i went to the bahroom, he followed and waited for me to get out, like sot there and just stared at me. And yea i was…planning to end everything at that moment… He waited until i got out of the bathroom, and then i just ended up crashing down and cried. after that, he just kept follow me everytime i went to the bathroom. Or thats what i wanted to believe to. 

P/s2: the reason why i wanted to post this… im not too sure as well, recently life is shit, but i hope this post will bring someone, anyone a bit of a breath. Knowing that ur not alone

P/s3: “OP- cat here,the human went back to crying so if anyone have any advice lemme know”